Home | Resume | See Me LIVE | World Views | Contact Me

www.TessieChua.com

World Views

I have long since awaited the day
when the world would realize just how right I am!

tessieright.jpg

I went to Catholic School. 
Everything's a sin in Catholic School. 
Except child abuse.

I go out on dates with these guys. 
They think I'm gonna be an expert at
walking on their back,
cuz I'm Asian. 
You know what I do? 
I go into the other room,
I put on my golf shoes.  I come out. 
I'm ready nowwww...
This way they get the benefits
of both massage and accupuncture

Ten years ago, I was gonna be a nun.  But when it came time to check into the convent, it dawned on me. 
I can't be a nun - I'm a Slut.

tessiebouncer.jpg
You may have surmised I'm a life coach.  Like Dr. Phil, only minus the compassion and the understanding.